How do you deal with your anger? I don't mean to bury myself in my sorrows but I feel too defeated right now to fight back with all I have.
I know its not the end of the world, I know there are far worse situations out there, I know I have many blessings, etc, etc, etc, but my heart is filled with such sadness that right now I'm not sure how to cope. I was feeling very angry this weekend knowing that next month I would have been bringing home a lil one or that in December our 1st baby would have turned one. "Would have been" is a term I can't take out of my head and in some twisted way thinking about what could have been makes me feel a little better.
Was I a fool for thinking that after 2 years of trying our first cycle of Clomid would have worked? I guess so. We had hope, a lot of hope but apparently that was not enough. So this 2nd cycle of Clomid already feels like a failure, I don't seem to be feeling side effects yet. I know we have the added IUI procedure this time but I think I just lost my faith in the middle of all my anger. I will keep fighting of course and keep trying to find my faith back but not today. Right now I need to let myself feel every single ounce of defeat that I can. Hopefully that will help me wake up tomorrow with a determination to never give up.