Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I'm still at it...

I'm still...

1-Working. Even though I'm brain dead they have taken mercy on me and have not fired me for being too distracted thinking about my babies.

2-Feeling guilty. I hate that I have to abandon the kiddos. I know they are in great hands but I can't help feeling very very sad that I have to go to work.

3-Pumping. I have been able to keep up my supply so far. I pump between 28 & 32 onces every day depending on how many pumps I can squeeze in. My drive to & from work is at least 30 minutes so I usually pump while driving home and I get to spend time with the babies before their bed time.

4-Owe you guys pics of the babies. They are almost 5 months and I haven't shared any pics since they turned 3 months. (Not on this blog I mean)

And lastly...

5-I'm sill reading your blogs. I may not have a chance to comment but I'm reading and following you all the same. I do miss giving you guys my very wise and humble opinion though :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

Corporate America: The Mother Robber!

They took me from my kids today and will continue to do so. Corporate America is EVIL!

*Disclaimer: Dear corporate America I have no real beef with you, my kids do. So please continue to send me paychecks, thank you.

I went back to work today (you already know this because I've been repeating this upcoming event lately) and that's why the world stopped for a second. You felt it didn't you? I know you did. There was a point in time today in which you forgot what you were doing or felt a slight confusion, that was me. That was the impact of me being taken away from my children. Lucky for all involved, I survived, imagine what would have happened with life as we know it if I didn't. Go ahead, you can breathe a sigh of relief. We are all okay, phew!

I had not been working for 7 1/2 months. I had to leave to be on bed rest since my heart was giving out on me (Crazy kids made me love them so much that my heart was on the verge of exploding) and then of course I had time to spend with the babies. I am very lucky and blessed to have been given 4 months to spend with the babies. And that's the thing, I've been on my own with the babies for a long time with not much adult interactions. You would think my co-workers would understand my Noah and Natalia's withdrawal but they didn't. Sure, they know it was hard for me and tried to be supportive but not once did they offer to let me burp them. Not once. The did not do any cooing for me nor did anyone get on their tummy to roll over so I can cheer them on, nope! But they all showed off that they can walk.....big deal, my kids pull themselves up when you hold their hands, ha! I wonder if they'll let me do baby talks to them.. I might try that tomorrow. I girl needs something to get through her day, no?

All in all it was a good first day back.I missed the babies a lot and I may or may not have cried but I survived. Ok, I did cry, one day at a time, right? 50% of the babies were good. Only one child loves me, the other one apparently could care less. Natty cried a bit in the morning and during lunch time. I was actually able to go today to see them during lunch but that was a one time deal. They are replacing the boiler at my job and it would be cold in any of the private areas where I could pump, I'll have to manage tomorrow but today I got a pass =)

Friday, February 4, 2011

Last Day of Mommy Freedom

I can't believe that I go back to work on Monday. Can't they just pay me to be a happy employee? And by happy employee I mean a happy stay at home Mom. We all know that a happy employee is way more productive than an unhappy one. Even if it means that I'm more productive at home, which doesn't help them BUT it doesn't change the fact that I would be happier and more productive-er*, does it?

I am sad to leave the babies but I'm a little excited to go back. I miss my people, they are pretty special. Obviously they are not as special as my kids but I guess I'll take what I can get, at the very least they wont spit up on me. Me on the other hand? I might spit up on them just for the mere fact that they are taking me away from my babies. Don't worry I wont get fired... I'll fake a stomach bug and say sorry with big innocent eyes. But you and I will know the truth. ::::evil laugh::::

The babies are going to be in the best of hands, my sister is going to watch them for me. Luckily she lives a few blocks from my job so I'll be close enough. Sadly I wont be able to see them for lunch. I only get 30 minutes and I need to use that time to pump and eat. I wonder if I'll cry. I don't feel like crying right now but I did cry 2 weeks ago when I got the return date. I wonder if they'll cry for me. I don't want them to. Well, OK, I kinda want them to shed a little tear just so that I know they love me and want absolutely no one but me, but I don't want them to really really cry. Maybe just a little sad mouth. Is that mean? That I want them to miss me? I just need something to tell me that this is not a one way relationship, ya know?

*Yes, I know this is not a word... yet. Jeff would say this is a new word to add to my collection of Shannyisms. But me? I say this is a perfect example of my point. I've been happy at home and became so productive I made up a new word for all to enjoy: productive-er. No need to thank me for such an awesome addition to the English language just send me a dollar each time you use it and we are even.