I really hate it when I'm forced to be rude but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. This past weekend I attended my cousin's baby shower which was a lot of fun and I just have to say she looked adorable with that baby bump! Oh, and she is having a baby girl =)
At the shower we have this particular aunt/family friend who is one of those people who likes to get into other people's business. Since I've been married, every single time she sees me she questions me about having a baby. Of course I expected it at the shower and I said to her what I said to anyone else who asked: I (faked) laughed and said "don't worry about it, let's just enjoy my cousin's shower" (I'm not saying her name) and that was that. Other people let it go, not her. It went down something like this:
Her: Shanny, so when are going to have a baby?
Me: (laughing) Oh don't worry about it, let's just enjoy my cousin's shower.
Her: But don't you think its time? No insect bit you yet?
Me: No, I'm good for now. (Still laughing)
Her: Shanny but its time for you and Jeff to make something happen.
Me: No, really don't worry about it. (Not laughing anymore)
Her:What's the matter? Jeff can't bite?
Me: That really isn't any of your business. Every time you see me you have to ask, please let it go.
Her: But what's going on? What's the matter with Jeff? Something wrong?
Me: Does it affect your life if we have kids or not? (Fuming!)
Her: .........................
Me: No, it doesn't affect your life so that's it. Let it go.
And of course, right now I'm the bad person; she doesn't see that she is the one who made me become a disrespectful person in the first place. I don't like being disrespectful but I must admit I still don't feel guilty. She really picks on everyone who comes across her path. The only thing is that it probably affects my Mom's name now because her daughter was out of line with someone who we've known for years and that even babysat me as a kid. It just irks me, granted they don't know any of my issues and its not their business anyway, but they need to know when to stop. You have to know when you are being nosy and insulting, gosh!
Girrrrlll I don't blame you one bit for what you did I would have done the samething I hate it when people are like that ugh..
ReplyDeleteWe all have one of those in our lifes! And I don't think you were rude, you tried to stop her and she didn't, she shouldn't complain! Why does she care if Jeff can bite? Keep your eyes on her lol
ReplyDeleteHa! She will see how much Jeff can bite when she finds out you are knocked up with 2 :)
ReplyDeleteI would have LOST my mind...
ReplyDeleteand imagine this IVF didn't work how offensive this question would have been? She has no RIGHT to ask those sorts of questions :(
Good for you for saying what you did... you were nicer than I would have been lady!
Go Shanny! I don't blame you one bit for getting stern with her. You tried brushing it off, being polite, but she apparently needed a little reminder about what is appropriate conversation! Don't worry about her, it will pass- besides, I'm sure most of your family is secretly cheering you on for telling this lady to mind her own business :o)
ReplyDeleteI think you handled it well. Why was it her business to know if anything was wrong? You are there to celebrate someone else baby, why question others? Ugh
ReplyDeleteI think you were so right to let them know everyone should be enjoying your cousin's shower, it was her day! I like the "it doesn't affect your life" comment, it really doesn't!
ReplyDeleteGo Shanny!! I don't blame you AT ALL!
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you at all! It's none of her business and I would hope that if she did know what was going on she would be quiet. But then again maybe she would just offer "advice". :( I'm sorry this happened and I'm sorry it might make you look like the bad person. But I'm sure in a few weeks time when you do decide to tell people your news, it will all be forgotten! :) (Funny how she just assumed it was something wrong with your hubby. Does she not like him or something? Weird.)
ReplyDeleteShe totally had it coming, and I actually think you handled it quite well! That said, I know what you mean because she certainly doesn't think she did anything wrong and therefore thinks you're the bad guy. Sucks! Maybe go ahead and give your mom a heads up so she hears it from you?
ReplyDeleteI think you handled it really well. I think most (normal) people know not to pester people with such questions!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. That is so annoying and unfortunately it happens all too often! I have been married for 3 years now and we are defintiely feeling the heat. Some people just don't know when enough is enough though. You handled it well.
ReplyDeleteI'm behind you 100%. I agree with your reaction and what you said. And I'm glad you are pregnant or it could've been worse. If that happened to me and they didn't let up I'm sure it would've ended in tears.
ReplyDeleteI think you have a right to vent and I SOOO remember those days and those questions. Whether they are trying to be kind or whatever it is..they do not know your story and it is not their place to even ask.
ReplyDeleteI understand and I am sure many of your other blogging friends do too!!
Gah! I HATE people like that!!! I'm glad you put her in her place
ReplyDeleteWTF family! I think you handled it pretty well. I hate those situations.
ReplyDeleteUgh, that is beyond frustrating. I mean I get annoyed at the simple harmless when are you thinking of kids question...but this woman was not backing down, wtf??? Who does that? You totally handled it well, I would have probably just ran to the bathroom and bawled my eyes out!
ReplyDeleteugh, I'm so sorry you had to deal with someone like that. I don't now & will NEVER understand why anyone thinks they have the right to ask about anyone else's reproductive business or any other business for that matter. I'm glad you put her in her place. :)
ReplyDeleteI've considered writing a book called "stupid things people say" because people really do say such stupid things ... if they haven't experienced it themselves (in this case infertility), they have no idea what they are talking about and they say really dump things. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. You were nicer than me ... I would have said "bite me" and walked off : )
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