Thursday, October 21, 2010

Birth Story

I want to make sure I write this down before I forget too many details.

After having my bloody show on the evening of Thursday October 7th, 2010 around 7:45ish, things seemed to have gone slow and fast at the same time. I stayed calm since I wasn't having any contractions (that I could feel) and also because the bleeding was few and far in between.

Then on the morning of the BIG day, Friday October 8th, 2010 I went to the doctor's office around 10 am and was told that I was in early labor and that I should go straight to the hospital "to go have people", my doctor's exact words. The babies weren't in position and even my cervix was still very high, so we knew that  the C-section would have to wait a while since I ate that morning and decided not to go straight to the hospital, instead we went home and got our things ready. I wasn't in any major pain, just a slight back cramp, but the doctor felt there was no reason to make me wait it out since I was already bleeding and was almost 38 weeks. I agreed.

We got to the hospital and I was in a room by 1:00 pm being monitored. At that point they could see I was having contractions but not too close together, and frankly I didn't really feel much, my cervix was only about 2cm, the only thing I could feel was my heart pumping with excitement. In the next 30 minutes, things changed pretty fast for me. Those contractions were coming a few minutes apart and I was definitely feeling them. It was painful I wont lie but I know that I never got to a point where it was excruciating. Why? Because of the epidural, that's why. My doctor came in around 2pm and said I was about 3cm but they could clearly see my contractions going at it. She said to get the epidural now because I was going to need it for the surgery in any case and it didn't make sense for me to suffer the whole time, and again I agreed. Let me tell you, I found out at that moment that I was allergic to pain, and I think its important for everyone to be aware of that.

I got the epidural and was relaxing waiting for 5:30-6:00pm to come around since that was the scheduled time. The next thing I know its 4:30 and I was being prepped for the surgery. The whole time I was pretty excited and not nervous about the surgery, they even mentioned how calm I was...until I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia. Did it work? yes, but I could still move my legs and feet if I wanted to... I umm tested wiggling my toes. The bad reaction happened in my chest. From my neck to my waist I couldn't feel anything but heavy pressure, mainly in my chest. Jeff had to wait outside of the OR while I was being prepped so that made me anxious. Being aware of everything but not being able to move when you are a claustrophobic is not a good combination, I had a major panic attack. I felt like I couldn't breathe and as I got nervous about it my heart went crazy fast which just made me feel like I wasn't breathing even more. I was actually breathing, I had the oxygen tube in my nose and I knew it but I couldn't snap out of it. All I wanted to do was get up and walk out, I can't believe I reacted that way. They brought me the oxygen mask to help out but it only made me feel more trapped so they put it by my mouth and I was able to calm down with that, somewhat.

Jeff came in and things started happening. I kept asking Jeff to talk to me and he was being very sweet telling me that he loves me and that we were about to meet our babies and all that good stuff, except that it was the wrong thing to say to me. It got me excited and happy which was of course the purpose of the words BUT it also got my heart going faster which just caused a chain reaction of panic. When they brought Natalia to show me, I was sooo overwhelmed and I could feel my tears coming but couldn't even enjoy the moment because I had another panic attack. The same thing with Noah. When they were closing me up I was able to kiss Noah quickly, I don't know where Natalia was but I was OK for a little while. Then I saw Jeff holding them and I started freaking out again, I was like that for maybe an hour after. My mom was there and I couldn't even look at her without getting my heart/breathing completely out of control. I was so frustrated with myself. I was so happy and my body wouldn't let me enjoy it, I felt like a bad mother already knowing I couldn't handle seeing them. I was aware of all this but could NOT snap out of it. That extremely heavy pressure in my chest and arms from the anesthesia really screwed up my moment for me. It is the only thing I regret but not too much because without it I couldn't have had the babies, I was fine after the anesthesia wore off. The struggle in my head and my heart was the worst to deal with. In the end, I had my babies and I was good after the anesthesia.

Natalia was born at 5:06PM, 6 lbs 14 oz, 20 inches long

Noah was born at 5:08PM, 5 lbs 7 oz, 18.5 inches long

Wanna know something funny?
I always had October 8th stuck in my head as "the" day.... I was right! I kept saying I think they will come between 10/3 & 10/8... the scheduled c-section date of the 12th just didn't feel right to me, which is why I kept saying I didn't feel attached to it. I kept pushing Jeff to help me get things done before Friday the 8th because that was my day in my head, and I'm not making this up, my people know this. They may have thought I was crazy when I mentioned it weeks and months before but now they know I was right! I love being right =)

Oh, and I did play "Push it" to them on the way to the hospital!

Here are some quick pics of the day, I will add more later. With everything going on we haven't really been taking too many pics. That's changing ASAP.

Last pic with my table top belly

Minutes before I was cut opened

First pic with Daddy

First time I held Natalia

First time I held Noah

 My little darlings with their exhausted mother

 Noah (left), Natalia (right)

Natalia (left), Noah (right)

This is when they were coming home

14 comments:

  1. I love them so much!! Seriously, so stinkin' cute!!!
    It's funny because I had the EXACT same problem as you when I had all of my csections... the very worst with Marcus though. I was having HUGE anxiety attacks until they actually put Marcus in my arms about 3 hours later. It was horrible. I remember not being able to hold him because I was panicking right after I had him, and it has always stuck with me :(
    But the best part is that as soon as you had your little monkey's in your arms you were good!!!
    They are gorgeous Shanny!! You guys did good :)

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  2. That coming home picture is absolutely precious! They look like they're taking a stroll down the street. :) I'm glad you're all doing well and I'm glad you found time to put this down for yourself. Good job Mommy!

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  3. Congratulations again! They're so precious!!!

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  4. They are so beautiful! I can't wait to see more pictures. Jeff looks like such a proud daddy!!

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  5. They are beautiful Shanny & Jeff! Congrats again!

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  6. Ahhh...I love your babies so much! They are adorable and I'm not just saying that :)

    No worries about your delivery. I think we all go into labor with good intentions but then something comes up. No one ever said giving birth to your babies was going to be easy.

    So glad they are finally in your arms! :)

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  7. Your babies are adorable. I love their little outfits!

    These birth plans never work out the way we expect them to, do they? That's okay because despite it all you end up with beautiful babies in your arms. And that makes it all worth it. Congrats again momma!

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  8. Beautiful pictures! I can't wait to see more.

    I was completely calm during the whole thing, until I threw up a bucket of blood. That was gross. Birth was nothing like I thought it would be that's for sure, isn't that crazy after all the preparation for it?

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  9. They are so beautiful. Congrats on the safe arrival of your little miracles. Best of luck with sweet little Noah. I have been following your blog for your entire pregnancy (I hope that is ok - I can't even remember how I found you). I was pg with boy/girl twins and I think I was about 1 week behind you! Life with new twins is no joke but such a blessing :)

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  10. They are beautiful! Can't wait to see more pictures. :)

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  11. They are both such cuties:) I love their coming home outfits and have the boy outfit four our little boy in 0-3months....YOu look wonderful holding those babes in your arms:)))) Cant wait to see and hear more updates

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  12. Shanny, your babes are beautiful and those going home outfits are precious!!! Love the pic of you holding them both- being a mom is the best thing ever! Best to you and your sweet babies ~Take care~

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  13. What a great post! I hope you could take a look at my blog as well… http://shopandtraveltips.blogspot.com

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  14. Shanny, I am SO happy for you guys. I know right now is a happy and stressful time for you guys, but you're both strong, resilient people and those babies are just like you! Noah will conquer his CAH and Natalia will be his best cheerleader! I'm so glad they are both here and you are all doing well. I can't wait to read your future posts and watch them grow! Congratulations!!

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