Friday, January 7, 2011

Used Paranoia Give Away

All you have to do is grab one from the list, its free.

I have become a paranoid mother. Well I think I've been one since the babies were born but I've gradually increased it to a point that I have too much and I decided to have a garage sale, except without the garage and the sale part, I'm just giving it away for free. They are used but in good condition so if you want one, take it, if you don't want it... take it anyway.

I keep thinking of a thousand different ways in which I can trip when carrying my baby. And the other one too. It doesn't matter which baby, they are pretty much interchangeable when it comes to this. I keep imagining that I'm tripping on the edge of a rug, a shoe, a peck of dust (oh trust me, I really think it can happen), trip on my pants... even if I'm wearing shorts... or no pants at all (don't get frisky, this only means I'm wearing a dress or skirt), or slip from the meltdown of a single snow flurry that miraculously got in the house through some tiny hole. You get the point, I'm bound to trip but since I still have to save the day, I then picture myself throwing the baby (whichever one) in the air, falling on my ass and catching that baby right on time, like the awesome mother that I am. And then I smile to myself. But, after a second of self satisfaction, the image in my head changes to me throwing that baby in the air, causing him or her to hit their head on the corner of a table (even though they are no where close to one) and me falling on the other baby and crushing that one, not such an awesome mother after all.

If that wasn't bad enough, I'm also paranoid of things falling on them. I imagine their name blocks falling on their heads when they are sleeping.... the shelves holding the name blocks are pretty far away... but somehow I think, hey! I'm in the room right next door a.k.a. computer room a.k.a. Noah's future room and I trip (yes the tripping thing is at the top of my list) and hit/push the wall and cause the blocks to fall on their heads anyway. It's not only blocks that can fall on them either. The TV can fall on them. The sofa can fall on them. The stove can make its way from the kitchen to fall on them. Heck, they just have some kind of gravitational pull that will make everything and anything to fall on them, but then, like the awesome mother that I am, I also picture myself throwing myself on top of them so that nothing hits them. Except of course, I end up crushing them and the awesome mother title goes right out the window once again.

They can get hurt when I'm giving them their baths. They can choke on the powder when I'm applying a single grain on them. Or something with the lotion that I dare put on their bodies, cause I don't know what but I'm sure the lotion can backfire somehow. I can cut their circulation by putting their diapers on too tightly. They can breathe in bad air, either because the air purifier isn't working good enough or because someone farted. Probably Jeff, not me, I'm a lady.

Or they can simply be nice and healthy with absolutely nothing happening to them, but lets be realistic here, what are the chances of that happening?

10 comments:

  1. You are not alone. I have this irrational fears as well. It's new mommy mind, its messes with you.

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  2. Is this a sign of PPD maybe?

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  3. Ha Laura, not at all!
    Its a sign of me being completely overprotective and crazy :)

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  4. Hi,

    Don`t worry about it. This is sooooo normal! My boys are 10 and 7 and it took me forever to let them play outside without me being right next to them. They keep telling me ''Maman, my friends parents are not as strict as you''.. But oh well... I love them so much and want to protect them all the time.

    Véronique
    http://www.lifeasaluce.blogspot.com/

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  5. LOL love it Shanny!
    I'll gladly take one of your worries away from your hand, I think "pushing" the wall is the only I'm missing from my paranoia list so I'm taking it.

    Being a mother has really made me an insane woman, I remember fearing I would trip also! It gets better with time :)

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  6. I thought the paranoia about tripping was just me. I always fear I'm going to trip up the stairs or over a shoe while I'm carrying Ariana. So sorry I can't take that from you but we can share. lol

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  7. Trust me, the paranoid delusions just get more and more vivid as they get older. When they're newbies, they're fragile, but at least they stay where you put them! Once they're mobile, there are even more scenarios that pop into your head. And more toys to trip on! And once they start walking... woah. But it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly resilient they are. They're little survival machines, and even smacking their heads on the pavement during the early walking days doesn't seem to slow them down for very long. Watch, soon you'll be saying, "oh, you're FINE" when they whine over every bump and bruise!
    Oh, and for the record, I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with PPD and everything to do with being a new parent.

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  8. I worry about everything too girl! Hope you guys are doing well :)

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  9. Shanny! I was so excited to see a comment from you on my blog!! My gosh how the time has just flown by.

    I used to be sooo paranoid too, but I went to this great mommy group at my church and the message just really stuck with me. I'm not sure of your beliefs but I thought I would share the gist. We can't let the fear get us. We live in fear because we think that no one can love our baby more than we do... not even God. But we have to remember that God loves our babies more than we ever could and they are blessed. We don't have to live in the fear because He is watching and loving them always.

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  10. Im not a mommy yet...but I just dont know how you all do it sometimes. I am terrified just holding my friends children. I ask them all of the time how they know what to do?! They always tell me..." you just know!"
    You are so amazing!! I know you know...dont doubt your instincts!

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