Or maybe I love her since she finally came....
Who knows? We have a love/hate relationship, AF & I.
I can't say I blame her for having a grudge against me. I mean, for years I welcomed her with open arms. Month after month I waited patiently for her to show up. We had fun together, and I always did look forward to spending time with her. I honestly didn't know what I would have done if she didn't show...(freak out!)
But now she is pissed off at me, and I deserve it. After all the love I've had for her, I've been slowly pushing her away from me. I just need a break. A long break.... of exactly 9 months, is that too much to ask? Maybe I went the wrong way about it. I just started distancing myself from AF and never explained why. So here goes:
We need to talk. It seems things are not working out anymore. Please don't cry, I assure you that its not you, its me. I still love you, but I need my space. I need a long break from our relationship. I feel like its always the same when you come and we need to find the spark back. I know you are thinking that there may be someone else..... you're kinda right. I'm hoping that there will be, but that wont be possible unless you go away for a while. I don't want to hurt you, I just want to be a mom. I promise that in your place a lovely baby will take good care of me. Having said that, once that baby is out I will need you by my side for your support. I know that I wont be able to go on without you. So as you can see, I'm not saying good bye, just see you later. No one can ever replace that love that we share. So I've taken the liberty and set up a long, long vacation for you... all expenses paid. Feel free to see other people, I understand that you must do what you have to do. But please AF come back to me in March, if my calculations are correct that's when I will be needing you again. I will miss you....
So there it is. A proper short term break up. I will go ahead and spend quality time with her right now and then.....See ya later! way later!
*"She is a red haired bitch and I hate her"- quote from Becky Bloomwood in the Shopaholic series. (Not directed at AF, but it fits nicely in my opinion)