Friday, November 14, 2008

Could things get worse?



I should definitely stay away from that question in the future.

My RE appointment is this coming Wednesday. As it approaches, my mind is going a million miles per minute and of course I investigate. I need to know what to expect and I need to understand what they tell me. I don't speak Doctor language and I try to learn as much as I can so I don't have to sit there with a dumb look on my face while things are being explained to me. A bit obsessive yes, and it doesn't help that certain members of my family are kind of the same. My sister-in-law, Jeff's brother's wife, has a cousin who deals with my type of issues. She can obsessive too and went digging to find out about what's going on with me. She found out that the Fertility group I'm going to is really great, this is good. The bad thing is that she also found out that I will need a cat scan.

I freaked out of course. Then I had Jeff call his aunt who is a Doctor, I don't feel comfortable talking to his family members on the phone, I'm weird, and she said I will absolutely need one. My high prolactin levels are to be blamed. Its one thing to know that I have certain health problems but when you bring in the words "cat scan" it all just sounds worse. Why didn't my OB/GYN tell me this? I'm not sure, she did say she wasn't comfortable discussing these things on the phone and I didn't push because I was shocked.

Forget my other three issues, they are on the back burner for now. Back to this high prolactin level thingy, it can be caused by a number of things including thyroid and kidney problems so I will be tested on these too. Or it can be caused by a tumor in the pituitary gland, which is in the brain. This is why I need to get a cat scan, in case I have an unwanted growth, which if I do.... explains a lot about my brain..... but I don't so that's that. I trust my self-diagnosis more than my future cat scan.

In my heart, I know that I'm fine. I have faith that its nothing too bad and that I will OK. But this same heart is beating very very fast because of the small possibility of things turning ugly. I'm trying my best not to worry too much but I'm still pretty freaked out. I wont be able to breathe freely until that possibility is ruled out. Can you help me pray that the only thing wrong with my brain is that I think too much? Its most likely the cause anyway, me being me and all.

3 comments:

  1. I wish you the best with all these tests. I'm sure nothing is wrong and yes we do think WAY to much when we are TTC. Everything comes to our mind, and mean times we stress ourselves out for no reason. I'll keep you in my prayers and good luck with everything.

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  2. I am sure that the cat scan will be normal. Just try to remember that in the medical world, tons of tests are needed to help the docs get a better look at the big picture. I know its hard to not overthink things, I know that I'd be a millionaire if I got paid to overthink my life! I will pray for you and hope that all will turn out well :)

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  3. Oh wow!! Bendice tu corazon!!! Es normal a ser preocupada pero Dios tiene tu vida en su manos. Yo voy orar para ti!

    My spanish is so limited but I'm trying!!!! I LOVE that you leave me spanish comments, it makes me smile :) Thank you for the last one, so sweet!!

    I am so sorry you're having to deal with all of this, how nervous and anxious you must feel. I'm sure your brain is okay (other than the fact that you over analyze...I, too have this problem so I completely understand!)

    Praying for you!!!! Best of luck!

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