Friday, December 26, 2008

Emotional and confused

I'm crying all the time.

My hormones are out of whack. I have no control whatsoever and its quite annoying. Every little thing makes me cry. I don't know if its my new drug or just me. It is supposed to lower my hormones.... but I'm not so sure that its working too good.

Well, its working in its own way. Wanna know how I know? That would be 'cause I freaking O'd earlier than the norm. Waaay earlier! At the beginning of the cycle I set my Fertility Monitor too late during the day so I couldn't POAS early in the morning like usual. It gives a 6 hour window but I was at work during that time this cycle. After I got the green light to TTC I decided it was time to stop saving my sticks and give them what they were made for..... So I took them to work and did my thing there. My test went from low to peak in only 2 days of testing, no highs in between to warn me. I was so excited that I screamed"Holy Shit!" in the bathroom. I really really hope that no one heard me. I don't want to know what they thought if they did. Embarrassing!

Jeff and I... did, um... you know... and now we wait.
Here is the rest of the exciting news. If I don't get a BFP now I have other plans. Once I get dear AF I'm going to start Clomid. I will be monitored and when its time I will be given the HCG shot to trigger ovulation. Now I have a dilemma. We can either try naturally or we can go with IUI. When I spoke the RE I told him we wouldn't do the IUI just yet but now I wonder if we should go with the better chances of conceiving. If it doesn't happen then I have to do the treatment all over again... but of course IUI might not work first time either. This sucks. We are still deciding though. What to do? What to do?

So far I think I'm sticking to my first decision. Its just that having the option given to me makes me wanna try the easiest way out. Shame on me, I should go and cry my shamelessness away.


  1. Don't beat yourself up, hon. If you and Jeff want to go ahead and do the IUI, I say more power to you. You've waited long enough.

    Of course, if you want to try it naturally again, there's nothing wrong with that either :) Follow your heart.

  2. I agree with Andrea! Don't be so hard on yourself friend.


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