Before I get down with it, I would like to thank all of you for your kind words. I know I was pretty much a downer but I suppose that was to be expected.
In the slight chance that I may have been perceived as over reacting, let me give you a bit of perspective: this month is a whole year of going to the fertility clinic, I started this whole journey since I was 26.... I'll be turning 29 on Sunday, its been a total of 25 cycles trying (but who is counting?) And now I officially qualify for IVF.
The Dr said that after having 3-4 clomid/IUI cycles, the chances of conceiving goes down. I do react nicely to Clomid, apart from my lining which takes a few extra days to thicken up, I ovulate strongly each time and I produce multiple follies. He recommended IVF but I have to take the injection classes and attend their info session on it before I can go for it.
Since my cycle already started I'll go for a 5th Clomid/IUI while I prepare for IVF, ummm, hopefully I won't need it. I guess I'm not giving up after all. Not surprising right? It was after all my sadness and anger doing the "talking" that day. But now my chin is up and I'm ready to conquer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
***Update***
I wrote the top portion when I was waiting for my day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound. Less than 2 hours later, things have changed.
Clomid finally caught up with me. I have cyst on my left ovary. I was told they would tell me if I can continue with Clomid depending on my blood results but I just decided against it. I don't want to do anything to hyper stimulate it further. I still cringe when I remember my ruptured cyst in January.
We may or may not try naturally this month. I still have Clomid in my system BUT usually its not advisable to try with a cyst. Dunno yet. Either way, In Vitro Fertilization is on for next month. Yikes!
And conquer you will -- I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of getting preggers thoughts! You were meant to have a baby and I know you're going to get one :)
ReplyDeleteYes, chin up Shanny! Much love.
ReplyDeleteThe sadness, doubt, anger, etc., are all normal parts of the grieving process and we expect it. I'm really rooting for you, though, and hope you see the answers to your prayers soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm cheering for you friend, and sending up my prayers. HUGS!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm sorry to hear about the cyst!! Maybe it will be nice to have a month break? I sure hope your baby blessing is closer than you think!
ReplyDeleteAwww! Yay! IVF! (Not that IVF itself will be "fun" but maybe this is it for you, Shanny!)
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I'm thinking about you!
Dani
ttcconnections.blogspot.com
wow this is like big life stuff. Makes my takling about ufo's not as cool.
ReplyDeleteOh Mercy, I had a problem with chronic cysts (and ended up in ER many many many times because of the rupture!)
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you Shanny because I really can't imagine what you are going through... if you need anything that we can do for you - PLEASE let us know!!
*Hugs* and prayers!
I'm very sorry about your BFN. I am hopeful for you and IVF. It might do the trick for you. I'm sorry it has come to that for you though. Way to stay strong!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about the cyst Shanny. I'm praying that you get your sticky BFP very soon!
ReplyDeletei'm sorry shanny. i think ivf will work! so excited for next month!
ReplyDeleteHey, with any luck, we'll be doing IVF at the same time ... and get preggers at the same time. How fun would that be? : )
ReplyDeleteOh Shanny, sorry it has to come to IVF but at least it will up your chances. Hope the cyst goes away soon!
ReplyDeleteI guess destiny doesn't want you to do anymore clomid cycles, I would try naturally if I were you, clomid might still work since its in your body for a while, maybe you won't need ivf! Sorry about the cyst =(
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best! You should do what your heart desires and what you feel is right. There has been many beautiful babies born to IVF.
ReplyDeleteYucky cyst- bummer! I say just go with it this cycle, if the mood strikes... :o)
ReplyDeleteGL with whatever this cycle brings and/or starting with IVF!!!!
good luck! I admire any woman who has to go through this. Keep your chin up. It will happen. :)
ReplyDeletePS-Beautiful blog!
You rock lady. Your positivity will get you through. Praying for you and your journey next month!! Have a cocktail to celebrate your fabulous self on our bday tomorrow!!
ReplyDeleteLeft you something on my blog lovely lady :)
ReplyDeletesis i just wanna wish you happy birthday day enjoy.....
ReplyDeleteluv jen
I'm so sorry honey. Clomid gave me a *huge* cyst! And I remember clearly how physically and emotionally painful it was. Thinking of you and keeping everything crossed as you move forward. You are so strong :)
ReplyDelete((Hugs))
Sorry about the cyst :( I just finished a forced break cycle due to cysts and know it's tough. However, our break ended up being such a blessing of rest - I pray it will be the same for you!
ReplyDeleteOh no, a cyst? No good. Crossing my fingers for you constantly!
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear that you are going to continue to try. I pray for you all the time. I just wish and hope and pray...some day...it just has to happen for you both.
ReplyDelete