Sunday, November 15, 2009

Results are in...


Of course! I mean, why expect otherwise? This is after all the same story over and over again, right?

Is it time for clomid cycle 5? I don't know. I'm tired. I've wasted the past 2 years and change trying for something that may very well never happen. I honestly just feel like giving up. It's mentally and physically exhausting trying to fight destiny. At least, it feels like that's what I'm doing. Maybe its just not meant to be, end of story.

Hey, at least there is an upside!
I get to have a drink on my birthday next Sunday. Not sure if its to celebrate or to bury my sorrows, either way it works for me. Whatever.

30 comments:

  1. shanny, i am really sorry honestly i had a little of hope this trip i know there is no words to confort you but remember iam there for you darling you are stronger than me and some where deep down in my heart tells me that one day you will be a wonderful mom please dont lose your hopes...and about that drink just enjoy it you deserv it after all luv i think you know that while iam writing this iam crying too...


    jen.....

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  2. I'm so sad for you Shanny, I have nothing I can say to make you feel better. I hope that you don't give up though, you are fighting for your destiny not against it. I truly believe that. Big hugs.

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  3. I think you should have one for each reason. I'm sorry, honey.

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  4. Oh sweet lady I am so so so so so sorry :(
    Sending you all my love and tons of hugs. I am so sorry!!!

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  5. I'm so sorry...I feel like I'm an alcoholic after every BFN. It will drive you to drinking. I hope you feel better soon and get to enjoy your birthday:)

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  6. This sucks so much, I'm sorry =(

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  7. Well, crap. I'm sorry Shanny. Too bad we won't be together for Thanksgiving. We could get drunk together.

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  8. Damn. I'm so sorry sweet Shanny. ((hugs))

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  9. I'm so sorry!! Nothing I can say will make it better, just know that you are not alone in this hearbreaking journey. IF SUCKS!!!

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  10. Shanny, I am so incredibly sorry that this cycle didn't work. I started tearing up as I read your post. I know its hard right now, but please don't give up. You are destin to be a mother, don't forget that. Im praying that cycle 5 is your lucky cycle. ((Hugs))

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  11. Aw, I'm sorry Shanny :(

    Do you ever get confirmation that you did in fact ovulate (and not just that your body was gearing up to) What does your doctor say? I can't remember, was this your first IUI? You should give those a few tries...don't give up!

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  12. I'm so so sorry Shanny :( I wish I had answers for you but I do know you are NOT fighting destiny. God doesn't give us desires only to say "nananabooboo! nope you don't get it." Even if it didn't happen now just know that one day it WILL and you are going to be SO HAPPY.

    We're all cheering for you :)

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  13. Corazoncito, I think a little break is called for. Let's enjoy your birthday, let's enjoy life, let's have that drink. We are not going to give up, just take a break, relax and recharge our batteries. You are strong and with the support of Jeff and all of us who love you, we are going to continue this journey together. My girl is not a giver upper. I love you. Mom

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  14. I'm so sorry! Lots of HUGS to you!

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  15. Im so sorry - Ive been following your blog for a year now and have been really hoping this month was it for you.
    Im so sorry that its not. Theres nothing else much anyone can say to make it better. It will happen, it will. I have a friend who could get pg easily, but always lost the baby before 10 weeks. This happened for about 3 years. She finally underwent some treatment that was not approved medically, it was her last attempt as she was about to give up. it was just a chance. It worked. She has a son, imagine her shock when she found out she was pg again 6 weeks after having him. Miracles do happen.
    Hang in there.
    :)

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  16. Sweet Shanny, I'm so very sorry.((HUGS)) Thoughts and prayers coming your way. Still hoping that you get your miracle soon!

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  17. I'm so sorry!! I think it's great to look on the bright side though- enjoy that birthday drink! I sure hope your ttc journey will yield a baby soon!!!

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  18. OK here's my pep talk although I know it might not seem like one. Last January, I was feeling the exact same way you are. I'd been through 4 or so clomid cycles and just didn't think I could take it anymore. So I gave up. Now, 11 months later, several friends I know who did not give up have beautiful new babies and I'm just getting started again with treatments. I so wish I'd taken a month or two off to recover and started over right away. So the moral of my story is ... don't give up. I know it's so hard but you are strong and you can do this. Take a month off and then get back on the horse so to speak. Keep trying because it's totally worth the effort ... even though it seems awful while you are going through it.

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  19. i am so sorry shanny. big hugs.

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  20. Oh my...i just hate hate hearing how sad you are. i am sorry sweetie. this just isnt fair. please dont give up yet...you want this so bad. your in my thoughts my dear. dont loose hope. xo

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  21. I am so, so sorry. I hate that you are going through this but I still have faith for you that it will happen. Hang in there and know you arent alone. Always thinking of you...

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  22. I'm so sorry! I hope you don't give up hope. It took my friend four years but she got preggers and six months after she gave birth to her first she found out number two was on the way. And we're bday twins. 31 for me on Sunday! Let's have mucho cocktails. : )

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  23. Nooooo :( I'm so sorry. Take a break - or not. It will happen.

    Have a wonderful birthday. Hope your wishes come true in the new year.

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  24. I'm sad for you Shanny! I sure hope that your next go-round is full of better luck and the best news at the end! Are the doctors talking to you about things they are learning from your cycles? That at least can help you feel like you're making some progress towards the next cycle being successful!

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