Will it work out? I can only pray. I have to pray for it/them to implant and give me a darn BFP. Then I'll have to pray it sticks. This is nerve wracking!
Wanna know how it went down? Ok, I'll tell you!
I was a good girl and drank a lot of water before we arrived at the clinic for the transfer. I had a serious case of the trembling. It might have been the cold water, the cold weather or just pure nerves. I think I was just cold, Jeff thinks I was nervous. And he may be right, when I had finally stopped trembling we heard one of the doctors telling the couple next to us that their embryos were not looking good. They were poor and not dividing properly, I was listening as they were told that their chances were low but to pray because it's now in God's hands. At day 3 they only had 2 at 4 cells and 1 at 7 cells. My heart broke for her and I cried for them, they had several attempts already and had barely any hope for this try. I started trembling again, hands, legs, teeth chattering and didn't stop until my transfer was done.
I had no idea what I was going to be told about our embryos and felt like a horrible person wishing I didn't have the same fate as them. I didn't see their faces, I didn't meet them, but I'm praying really hard that they get a break and have a miracle.
My blastocysts on the other hand were fine. Better than fine. We lost one, but have 5 fighters. 3 were grade AA (perfect) and 2 were grade BB (very good). We have been blessed even making it this far, especially considering we only had 6 mature eggs to begin with. The doctor advised that we only transfer one because we have the other four and would be able to do a Frozen Embryo Transfer if this one didn't work out. We decided to go for two. We just want to have the best chance because even with all this, nothing is guaranteed. I just don't feel strong enough to do it again, these treatments are too overwhelming for me. And even if it doesn't work out, I'll know I gave myself the best chance. All I know is that we just need one and if we happen to get 2 we'll just have to celebrate twice. My other 3 embabies are now frozen, and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever meet them.
February marks our 2 years and 6 months of trying to become parents. Hopefully one or both of these two can put an end to that ongoing count:
Left: Grade AA, Right: Grade BB.
Don't they look like us? The left one takes after mommy and the right one after daddy. His head is bigger, that's why =) Now we wait.......