Nesting around...

As time flies by, I'm getting more and more anxious and the nesting need is hitting me hard. I have a million and one things that has to get done before the twins are here.... in maybe (and hopefully) 8 to 10 more weeks. That's not enough time! And God knows they can come even earlier than that. I pray not.

You could say its a good thing that I'm already not working.... except that I can't actually do much. Most things require lifting, bending, and standing... I can hardly do those. I mean yes, I can stand, but not for too long before I start losing my breath and my heart gets going. There is even a possibility of me falling forward from belly weight, true or not I dunno but it feels like it. So what do I do? I order Jeff around. Luckily for me, he seems to be nesting also, and does the stuff with no problem. But I feel guilty and I wish I could do more. I'm sorry honey to be using you like this but I must admit you make a darn good slave. I love you.

The cause of my biggest anxiety is my basement. It is still being worked on... kind of slowly. Do I think it will be done in 8 weeks? Probably not. As in any construction project, we've had our setbacks and that's fine. It is what it is and we'll deal with it. However, all the materials and such that is currently taking up space in the rest of the house is driving me bananas. I'm sorry for the guys but I might just make them move all the stuff out to the garage in a few weeks so I can make my house presentable. Cause you know, when the twins get here... so will the guests. And I suppose they wont mind sitting on tools and boxes and whatever but I need to dust and clean the whole house for the babies, don't I? Yes, I do and my anxiety tells me it needs to be done right now.

I like to do things myself but I guess I'll have to give in and ask for extra help when all the stuff is out of my way. By the time I finally get a chance to organize not only the house but all the babies things, which I haven't shopped for yet, I probably wont be able to and it makes me sad. I want to have the energy to at least take care of my babies stuff and since my energy is aleady running very low thinking about it makes me wanna cry. I know I'm whining but its MY house, MY stuff, MY babies so I want to do it MYSELF. It sucks to be in the nesting mood and have the right to actually do it taken away from you. I guess my "nesting" post turned more into a "venting" post but it feels good to let it out.

Here is my 27th week belly pic as something completely unrelated to my topic...

Update on my heart and belly pic

Well its still beating, which means I'm still alive, which means my babies are good, so I'm good!

I'm not done with testing yet. As of Friday, the EKG did indeed show that my heart was going at a faster pace than normal. Umm, didn't I tell them that? My word is not good enough, they had to check. I know my Google Doctorate degree might not be good enough for them but I think I know my heart, I mean really. This faster pace is not even when I'm having one of the "really fast/shortness of breath" episodes, but it seems to be ok. I have to go back to have an echosonogram done today to check for things I don't have any major issues.

BUT

More than likely it is due to the twin pregnancy or as I like to say: its due to an overwhelming amount of love, it is double you know. The cardiologist went over my blood work from my other doctor, checked my oxygen level (98%), and  my blood pressure and he was content with the results. He said I would have to take it really easy and that I should not be working anymore, which is good since that was my last week. Party time! okay... bed rest time... whatever.

He said its most likely because I'm a tiny compact woman at 5'2" carrying twins and that this could be normal. Awww tiny compact woman, I like that, but I don't think he really looked at my belly if he said that... what do you think? Here is my 26 week belly pic. (I'm now in my 27th week, holy cow!)

26 weeks:

Lets add one more Dr. to my list, shall we?

As of now, I go to my OB, to my Endocrinologist for my gestational diabetes, and to my hospital to see the perinatologists/maternal fetal specialists. Now, I get to add a cardiologist to the list.

My heart has been giving me some issues for the past week. I think its just so overwhelmed with happiness that it doesn't know how to react. It seems my adorable kiddos already know how to get to mommy's heart, God bless them. Every so often, no matter what I'm doing, I get shortness of breath along with very rapid heartbeats. The best way to describe it is to tell you that its the same feeling you have after you've been running like crazy and suddenly stop, you immediately feel your heart pumping away fast and you try to catch your breath until it eases. This happens even if I'm just sitting minding my own business (a.k.a. doing nothing.)

Personally, I thought it might be normal for being 26 weeks pregnant with twins, which I read happens, but both my OB and the diabetes Dr. got concerned as soon as I mentioned it. They need some chill pills if you ask me. I think I'm just fine. Or I was thinking that anyway until I called to make the appointment with the cardiologist. I explained the situation and the receptionist was telling me that they might not be able to see me until maybe 2 weeks, it sounded good to me, then she said she wanted to double check since I'm this far along in my pregnancy. When she came back to the phone she tells me that they need to see me immediately and that I should come in today. They sure have a way to calm a woman down when she (apparently) has a heart condition, no?

As of now, I'm still pretty calm about the whole thing. I mean its just my heart, nothing major. You know how doctors are, they overreact over every little thing... but just in case I'll go check it out to see what they say.... oh, and Mom: DON'T FREAK OUT!

Boobies! Before, During, and After..

I have them and I would like to talk about them, kay?

Throughout this whole pregnancy the only thing that I had was an itchy nipple, that's it, and it only lasted 1 1/2 weeks. Right now, they are just pitch black dark. 2 weeks ago I happened to wear a white bra and a white top to work and when I got there, of course I went straight to pee cause you can't escape that, and I noticed that they were still showing through the shirt, no kidding. I actually had to cover it up with toilet paper to avoid much male attention.... and to being fired...

Nothing else has happened to my boobs to make them uncomfortable. I mean NOTHING. They don't hurt and even in early pregnancy I had no soreness whatsoever. They haven't even changed in size, up until now I've been wearing my regular bras. Last week I had to buy some new ones just one size bigger because I 'm a girl and shopping is always a cool thing and any excuse will work. That and they are starting to feel heavier... but nothing else. I can still wear whatever bra my hear desires. But the heaviness brings me to something else....

Breastfeeding.

I plan to do this. To both of them. At the same time.
And I'm guessing things are happening in that department as of now because otherwise I cannot explain their sudden non-painful heaviness. I'm only praying that I can keep up the breastfeeding/pumping with no major issues. I'm already going to have a lot of diaper expenses so if I can feed them for free most of the time with very nutritious stuff, I want to do that.

Luckily and non-luckily for me I have just the perfect brain tumor to help me achieve my breastfeeding goal. While my tumor stays tiny and controlled its considered benign, though its still scary to know its in there. But since it is in there, it better do exactly what one of it's side effects happens to be: produce breast milk. It is a prolactin tumor... "lacting" as in lactating... as in I have prolactinoma which I dare say is kinda perfect for me breastfeeding twins. I wont go as far as saying its a blessing in disguise but it will be coming in very handy, wont it?

To tell you the truth I'll be very pissed if I don't make enough milk. I mean if the prolactinoma can make me produce milk whether or not I'm pregnant (I was on meds to control it before I got pregnant so I never did), it better hook me up when I need it the most! And if it can continue to help my boobies not feel pain during the whole process I might just take back all the mean things I ever said about it. I'll even go as far as to say: "Nice prolactinoma, nice"... just umm... stay tiny...

Shall we talk names?

No, we shall not.

I'm not trying to be mean or anything.

But its not happening. Yet.

I thought about posting about this before but I've been asked

a few times already and decided to explain myself.

As of now we have 50% of the names picked out.

Jeff is currently having trouble picking between two names

for our little boy.

Regardless,

we aren't planning on sharing them until they are born.

I know some people think its rude but I think its even more rude

when they offer their opinions on your choice and I really don't
understand why they do this. Thanks, but no thanks.

Once they are born and they are introduced into the world

as "little Shanny" and "little Jeff"

it will be done and they can't say anything.

Don't be worried though, I swear their names

are not weird. They are just for mommy and daddy to know.

Well, when Jeff finally decides...

then it will be for us to know for sure =)

I will say that the names we have in mind have always been

the names we loved. We didn't have to go crazy trying to figure them out.

Except for Jeff making the final call on our boy's name, of course.

He might want to wait until he sees him to see "who" he looks more like.

And let me tell you, this is seriously annoying
cause I can't call either of them by their names yet.

Nor can I personalize their nursery.

Yes, I know hers but it seems unfair to use her name and not his.

I have an "equal opportunity" complex.

If all else fails we will just call them by their original names:

Twin A and Twin B

and call it a day!

24 weeks A.K.A 6 months A.K.A. holy crap my babies can survive outside!

I don't know where the time went!

It feels like only yesterday I came out of the pregnancy closet and today my babies can actually survive outside the womb. Not that I want them to come out yet, God please don't do that, but its amazing that I've reached this far. Even more amazing is trying to figure out how I'll make the next three months... I am HUGE. People actually think I'm ready to give birth any second now.... ummmm no...

I totally smack the refrigerator door into my belly once or twice a week. Not hard, don't judge, but the door does close itself back. And no I don't remember that it happened before when I go to open it so I'm not as careful as I should be. Even if I was who can judge properly when you look like this:

Ok, maybe not.. its kind of a bad angle, right? Right??

RIGHT???

 Jeff was having too much fun with my belly pics...

which is why I do them myself.. you can't trust that guy.

and since you can't really see it, I want to clear up

that I do have 2 boobs... don't be fooled by the pic!

Here are my (kinda) better pictures:

21 weeks

22 weeks

23 weeks

See the boxes behind my butt on the tread mill?

That's another reason why my time is flying by. We are doing some

construction in the basement since it was fully unfinished.

By "we" I mean Jeff and my brother Danny.

And by that I mostly mean my brother Danny.

Jeff, I dunno what he does, he is not quite the construction guy

but he helps and tries to do what he can. Me?

I just supervise while holding my belly. Very hard work I tell ya.

By the way, that my friends is the nursery where I take my pics.

Doesn't look much like one, I know.

Since we needed a storage type area we were using that room,

but as of this weekend I had them take out the crap from there

and now its nicely sitting in my dining room

along with baby furniture, my glider with its ottoman, 

 a bunch of boxes of wood floor for the basement

AND with 3 months worth of mail that I haven't sort through.

What? sorting mail is tiring for a pregnant woman, I swear.

Not to mention dangerous....

My babies need all my blood so paper cuts are being avoided.

I do hope time goes a little slower though,

I need to be able to breathe in all my pregnancy experiences

and hurry up to get the nursery and play area basement ready.

And apparently I also need to get my thoughts together better,

this post is all over the place.

But to pretty it up a bit I'll add some new baby pics at

23 weeks 4 days:

Boy

Girl

Oh, and as of the last appointment on June 30th,

they were each weighing 1lb 6oz,

and growing perfectly =)

Check me out!!!

I am too good for my own blog that I can't even post here anymore. Instead I went over to my lovely Internet friend Ashley's blog: "For the Love of Shoes... and  A Baby, too"  and made my first ever guest post!

If you haven't checked out her blog yet then you totally should run over right now! She is one of my IVF buddies and I'm happy to say that on her second attempt she became a success. She is currently 12 weeks pregnant with an adorable cupcake that I swear is a girl, we have about six more weeks until we find out... ok, until she finds out. I've just been rooting for her for so long the "we" came out naturally =)

Thank you Ashley for allowing me to post on your awesome blog!!!!

And to the rest of my readers... if you are still around and not too upset with me... and happen to read that post you will find out why I've been MIA. I have about 5 different posts I've working on over the past 2 weeks that are unfinished because I forget (very quickly) what my point was.... not to mention that my work hours, gestational diabetes cooking/eating schedule, exhaustion and lack of sleep have been getting in the way. Forgive me? Please! With sugar splenda on top? and before you make a harsh decision on forgiving me, please keep in mind that I have been reading your blogs from my phone, I just can't comment from it.... I'll try to do better, I promise!

Happy 4th of July!!!

Edited to add the guest post:


Pregnancy brain...


I would like to start by thanking Ashley for letting me confuse her readers with my thoughts. And at the same time apologize for it.

If you happen to check out my blog, you will notice the lack of posts. The reason for that is simple: pregnancy brain. I have a serious case of it and all I can pray for is for it not to be something permanent, because if it is I feel really bad for my kids. Most of my days are wasted because the only acitivities in me head are brain farts. Don't feel bad for me though, I'm so oblivious to it that it makes me a happy camper. In fact, I think you would all benefit of an hour or two a day of pure brain fart acitivity. Try it first, thank me later.

The biggest issue I've had with this condition is that it has made me forget that I'm pregnant. Ironic right? After months of wondering why I haven't had the "holy crap, I'm pregnant" moment, I finally realized that the culprit is pregnancy brain. I've probably had the realization a few times but how would I know if I can't remember? I'm going crazy, I've found myself going to put toilet paper rolls in the refrigerator, ordering lunch and immediately begin to wonder what I'll be eating, I also happened to put on 2 bras once, one black & one beige and nope I didn't notice the clash of colors. And, and, AND if that wasn't shameful enough, I've given pregnancy brain to my poor husband Jeff. Two days ago he found himself pouring orange juice into the sink instead of his glass. Now, who keeps who sane?

I also can't seem to form a sentence correctly. My ability to talk has been taken over by mumbling, and I may or may not forget what I'm mumbling about in the middle of a conversation... or sometimes even in the beginning... all I know is I'm surely not impressing anyone. Awesome.

Oh, and Ashley? Darling, I hope you don't get as bad as me. I mean, you are already showing some signs of losing some brain activity by allowing me to guest post here, but I'm sure your readers will forgive you. And please don't fear, even if you do get a lil pregnancy stupidity, trust me, all you need is to do 3 sets of brain farts a day and you'll be none-the-wiser.