The babies?
Sure... its always one of my babies. One of my
three babies, I should say.
Yes, the twins wake me up every so often, because they are teething and get fever once in a while. But my other baby? You know, my original baby... the one I married... THAT one is a whole other story. He is such a good Daddy that even while he is sleeping he is in Daddy mode. He stresses about their well being and plays with them. Or so he thinks....
The man wakes me up every single night, at least once. He does not know this, he is fast asleep, but he manages to do one or all, actually any variation you can think of, of the following:
- Shakes me violently to go check on babies.... mind you if and when they make a sound, he sleeps right through it.
- Burps me.
- Or burps one, or both, of my boobs. When it was full of milk, it was not fun. Otherwise, well...
- Or, or, OR lifts one of my legs all the way up and starts patting my calf... no one, likes to be woken up that way, no one. And if you are reading this and think you would like that, call a psychologist.
- He pushes me out of the way to look for the baby. Whichever one.
- Pulls the blanket off of me to hug it.
- Talks to "them".... loudly.
- Caresses my head..... over and over and over... you get the picture.
- Farts. (Ok, this has nothing to do with babies, but it happens)
- And my favorite. It happened 2 nights ago: He pulls my pillow away from me (I had just returned from
peeing checking on babies) and continues to throw it in the air exactly two times brings it down and kisses it, he threw it again in the air two more times and then kisses it, and again and again. I'm in disbelief staring at him until I wanted my pillow back. I tried to tell him it was just a pillow but he yelled at me and told me he is playing with the baby, I of course, asked which one... he said MY BABY, in a very condescending tone I might add. So I did the most natural thing, I grabbed my cell phone to video tape him, but Jeff being Jeff, stopped and turned right around to give me his back and continued sleeping.
And me? I'm once again awake and tired and confused and laughing my butt off (both butts). And then I get angry. The man never lets me video tape him, he stops right when I start to set up the video. I'm not sure I'm more upset because he wakes me up or because he never lets me tape him. a wife needs something to blackmail their husband with, you know? Not cool Jeff, not cool.
All in all, I'm just glad he hasn't tried to put a diaper on me =)