I'm an addict

Hi my name is Shanny and I'm a pee-aholic.

For a lot of TTC'ers there is quite a numbers of days in which they POAS to see if they are ovulating. Double those days for me please. I have more days in my cycles so I never know when I will drop my egg and must keep peeing until I find out. When that's done you have your other week in which you POAS almost every day to see if you are pregnant. That's a lot.

After a year of this madness I have to admit that I look forward to doing it. Not because I expect a positive result (well maybe a little) but mostly because I'm so accustomed to it. I cannot go to bed with out "using" my pee sticks. I need to do it. I have to do it. I must.

In a way its a relieve (apart from the obvious) to know that if the stick is going to say "negative" at least I peed on it. Ha! take that you negative sticks! OK so maybe that's what they were made for BUT they weren't made for "mean" pee, were they? Nope, and that's exactly what they are getting cause they upset me.

I'm a pee-aholic 'cause I hide my sticks. I stash them in different garbage cans. You never know who is gonna check and judge you, do you? I hide them even from Jeff. Why? Because they are expensive and I may be using more sticks than I should.... daily... just to make sure... you never know. It has also crossed my mind, more than once, to buy different brands backup tests. How do I know that my monitor is working properly? Alright, so it got me pregnant the first time I used it but clearly you can no longer count on it. Clearly.

I've been known to take both the Ovulation and the Pregnancy tests on the same day. What if I had missed my positive O day and don't even know I'm knocked up. Its possible. Well for me anyway. Women tend to O between days 14-20 on average, not me. This cycle for example, I'm on day 37 and nothing. No O, no AF, no positive PG test. No sign of anything. Then again maybe I'm dying, slowly starting from my ovaries out and don't even know it.

Is there any You-are-dying-from-your-ovaries-out stick I can pee on to find out?

I want...

• A baby.

• I want to finish this whole house business because I want everything to be in its place.

• I have a place for a baby. I have its bedroom. I need my baby to put in there.

• I have another bedroom for my other baby. Twins would be nice. Pop them out at the same time and not have to argue with my body to ovulate for the second baby. Well actually I'm too scared of birth so I'd like to take the easy way out.

• I want my CBEFM to give me "high" and "peak" reading so that I can go... um... you know... with Jeff... in our house.... put things in their place.....

Phobia anyone?

If you have a phobia you know how hard it is to deal with whatever it is you are scared of.

I have arachnophobia.

I am absolutely petrified of spiders. No matter how tiny they are. Of course if they are huge its worse. I don't discriminate with spiders though, I'm scared of them all.

So what did I do? Me the arachnophobic decided to buy a house that has them inside and outside. They are EVERYWHERE! Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.... but not so much. I know they are on the trees and my basement and they crawl up to my living space every now and then. In my head though? They are EVERYWHERE. I cannot tell you how difficult it was for me to sleep the first few nights. I keep thinking they are going to attack me. The worse part is since I've moved in, I keep having nightmares that they are indeed attacking me.

The way they look. All those legs. Their spider webs. Ewwwwww. Don't get me wrong, I like the web... when it comes to the Internet. And I love Spiderman, but case in point: see what that tiny spider do to Tobey Maguire? It bit him!

I don't like it. End of story. I don't care how they are good because they eat all other bugs. How do I know they don't look at me thinking I'm a bug? What if they think I'm dinner? They probably do. In fact, I'm sure they look at me whispering to each other: "look at that nice piece of meat, lets get her while she is sleeping." Little bastards! I give them a roof and they plan on devouring me. How ungrateful.

I'm Cheating on Jeff

For the past week I've had an ongoing affair.



I know I should be ashamed of myself but I'm not. The new Mr. does things for me that Jeff will never EVER do in a million years. Don't go thinking that I'll give you the details either, this is my life and its private.... somewhat... considering I'm telling the whole Internet that I am a lying, cheating, shameless wife.



Before you judge me let me explain myself. My new Mr. is way more handy than Jeff, which now that I am working on the house I've found to be a very sexy trait. The past week was great. Jeff went to work and I was able to spend quality time with my new love. BUT my selfish husband is on vacation this week with me so now I have to find creative ways to hide my affair.



Maybe I'll just come clean with him. Maybe its time that I became Mrs. Clean and not Mrs. Cheater, what do you think? By the way here is his pic:


Oh My God. I love him. I know you think I'm crazy for being in love with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser but you have to try it. I share. My mom taught me to share so I'm being a good girl and sharing a great product. It erases the toughest stains. It saved me money on paint. I no longer have to paint the inside of the closets or my doors. They look sparkling clean thanks to my love affair. My dirty front door now looks new and beautiful.


I love you Mr. Clean, you are awesome!

Past events...

I have a few things I would like to write about and share pictures of.... the thing is.... I have no way of uploading pics yet. So I decided to write briefly about them.

1-There is a lot of changes in the house but I rather wait for the pictures so you can see the before and after. I think I'm just going to wait until my furniture is in, 'cause at this point what's the difference?

2-Happy belated birthday to my brother Danny!

Not actually belated I did see him on his day... but as far as the blogging world goes it is in fact belated. As he says himself, he just turned 29 years plus 24 months, he is too darn cute! He has the biggest heart and is always there for me when I need him. My sister and I are lucky to have him =)

3-Congratulations to my cousin who got married 2 weeks ago. The same wedding where I got free therapy in form of a glass (I'm not saying what was in the glass). My sister Jenny was a doll and e-mailed me some pics, we have a lot of nice family shots but the only one I could open was this one:

This was after the reception was over and we were getting ready to leave. NO, I wasn't getting fresh with her, I was merely being sweet by putting her shoes on for her. As you can see I did a good job so if anyone wants to hire me to put their shoes on I am looking for a second job. References are available upon request.

Home "strange" home

Tonight is the first night we will be spending in our house.

I've been painting and painting and it seems that I'm not getting anywhere. Well unless you wanna count the paint I have on my hands and arms.....

There is a lot to do, but we will get there eventually. We were living in a 1 bedroom apartment before and now we live in a 3 bedroom house with a biga$$ basement, huge backyard and 2 garages. We have so much space we don't know what to do with ourselves or our things. So what did we decide to do? We have an empty house and we put all of our possessions in the garage. Bit backwards no?

The good thing is that I'm on vacation for the next two weeks and Jeff will join me next week so we expect to get a lot done. So far we've already painted most of the rooms, sanded our hardwood floors and refinished it in the whole house, now we just have to furnish, decorate, and sit back and relax. Sometimes I think its just easier to move ourselves into the garage to end the headache, um.... I might just do that...

Since its the first night here, I have to honestly say that it feels very odd. Its a strange place to me....for now..... I'm sure as we start getting everything together it will slowly start feeling as our home sweet home...