Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Angry Infertile: Speak Out, Speak Up Award

I received this award from Kristin. A wonderful woman who on top of suffering a pregnancy loss also has infertility problems. Sharing this award with each other is just a reminder that we are not alone and someday we will all win the battle!

You're damn right I'm an angry infertile. I am sick of the injustices of this "disease." I am sick of being a "victim." I am sick of seeing my sisters fall victim to this disease and listening to their stories and their pain. So if you're out there, this is for you:

-If you could make a little house from used pee sticks and OPKs.

-If you talk in TTC acronyms nobody except people on the internet understand.

-If you have ever been stuck with any needles in order to achieve pregnancy.

-If you have had to stick yourself, or your husband has had to turn into your nurse in order to do it for you.

-If you've ever seen a blank ultrasound screen.

-If you know what a cootercam is.

-If you have ever gotten shower invites, family photos, or birth announcements in the mail and had a good cry.

-If you have watched someone go through an entire cycle of pregnancy in the time it took you to even try.

-If you have ever heard "just relax" or "it's not your time" or "it's God's will"

-If you dread holidays because you cannot announce a pregnancy to your family.

-If you dread holidays because there are no children to share them with.

-If you have ever held a baby or child and quietly pretended for a second that they're yours.

-If you have ever walked around the store in order to avoid the baby/toddler section.

-If you cannot park in the front spots of a store because they are for pregnant and expectant mothers only.

-If you've ever had to go IN the baby/toddler section of a store in order to buy something for someone else's baby.

-If you've ever yelled out during watching a movie or tv show about someone who's trying for a baby, "That's SO not realistic!"

-If you've ever sat around with a group of women who shared birth stories and labor pains and felt like you didn't fit in.

-If you've ever told anyone you are infertile and they're response was, "That sucks. I'm super fertile! I can have all the kids I want!"

-If a fertile person ever told you that they would be your surrogate because they have no problem getting pregnant.

-If you have ever gotten a shower invite through email while sitting at work trying to forget about TTC.

-If you know what an RE is.

-If you have ever graphed out your cycle on chart paper.

-If you have ever checked to see if your cervical mucus was eggwhite or clear, or could stretch 5 inches between your fingers and you know people in the next stall over are thinking, "WTF is she doing in there?"

-If you were disappointed that you couldn't find any.

-If you have kept a HPT or OPK in your purse to use when you were at work or out just in case.

-If you can't wait to see the peak symbol.

-If you have ever spat on a microscope in order to see ferns.

-If you laugh when people tell you to use pillows under your butt after sex.

-If you have picked out crib bedding or nursery decor online and you're not pregnant.

-If you have ever felt panic when seeing a pregnant lady.

If you meet the criteria above, or you'd like to submit your own, please post the following award on your blog. This is for all of the women who will no longer be silent about their infertility. This is to remind you that you need not be ashamed and you are definately not alone. This is to remind you to speak up the next time someone gives you fertility assvice.

Rules for posting award:

1-Link back to this post so that others will read the original story behind the award
2-Nominate 4 others who have not been "silent about their infertility"
3-Enjoy speaking out and speaking up :D

I nominate: Shannon, and Danse.

I would like to say that I'm kicking inferility's butty right now. Did a lil treatment and was blessed with a BFP but it doesn't take away all the struggles I've had, nor for any other woman who has been blessed with a pregnancy. I'm still hanging by a thread but hopefully this is it.

Speaking of.... my 5th beta was at 300. It didn't exactly double as it should but it went up. I go on Friday the 16th for more blood work and for my first ultrasound. I'm freaked out!


  1. Im glad your beta is continuing to grow and I hope that your u/s goes well.

    I know that my faith has played a big part in getting me through this IF nightmare but the other thing is all the support from girls I have met on the Nest and through blogging. Its great to know that we are all sisters in this journey and that hopefully, at the end, we are all moms!

  2. I am so glad your numbers are going up! I hope all goes well with your exciting!!


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