The pain is insane. It's not only the cramps and body ache that the shot is making me have, along with the TMI stuff (I'll save you the details), but remember the pain that sent me to the hospital? Its back. Not as bad, thank God, but its there accompanying the rest of it. WTF?
I can't even concentrate enough to suffer my loss, not sure I want to either. The physical pain is kicking my behind and I'm not allowed to take pain killers. Real pain killers I should say. I can take Tylenol but I might as well just drink water. Who are they kidding? I want my morphine back! I'm all about the drugs, give them to me and no one gets hurt. Of course the pain won't exactly let me go through with my threat so I'll just suffer quietly at home.
I think its getting better but I'm not too sure. It goes and comes and believe me the pain sure likes to make a statement when it comes back. On the other hand, my heart feels very heavy. Devastated is putting it mildly and yet I can't fully cry about it. Sure I have tears here and there but I'm trying to hold back. I'm in denial and I know it, I just can't let go. I don't know how. In some sad way I'm glad I'm feeling physical pain because I'm just not ready for the emotional part of it.