That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it. This does not mean that I don’t do my share of fighting. :::bowing head in shame::
People fight, argue, have disagreements, and all that ugly stuff but its reality. I’m not talking about physical fights because that’s definitely not my thing. People get upset. Its human nature, but its how you handle the anger that makes a difference.
I used to retain my anger and hold a grudge. I don’t forget things and I had the bad habit of bringing the past up. Some are valid but most are silly things. Now I think that when you look at the big picture most are stupid. Jeff and I had a rough patch a few years ago. I’m not getting into details because its in the past. We have very similar personality except for one area at that time, but thankfully that has been fixed. Unfortunately I couldn’t let go and he was in turn angry at me for being angry at him. Vicious negative circle. (We've since learned to compromise)
Then something clicked. Not sure what it was or how but I happened and I’m so happy that it did. It’s so simple that I feel stupid.
I remember being frustrated with something, I gave up and said to myself: "it is what it is". That little term made me truly think and I realized that I cannot change the past but I can decide how to deal with present problems for a better future. Life is just too short to focus on the little things. People make mistakes and the best thing to do is to deal with the problem at the moment, forgive and forget. I don’t want to be an angry person. I don't want to have any regrets of being a biotch to someone and then something happening to them. I would never forgive myself.
In the long run I want to have more positivity in my life. I'm not trying to preach here. Just wanted to share that I learned, after a loooong time, to stop and breathe. Think things through carefully and I've been a much happier person since.
Yeah, I still get upset but I know its ok. The difference is now I learned to talk about it, work on it, and let go... this kind of freedom is the best.
i used to be a grude holder as well. doesn't it feel much better to let go and just breath! :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes we all need to put life in perspective when we are faced with anger. Great post! Thanks for the reminder :)
ReplyDeleteOh, and I used to be a grudge holder too, especially towards my significant other. I've since changed and realize how hard I was making my life!
Shanny, this was so good. I can totally relate because I too, have been that person who retains anger and holds grudges. This is NOT something I am ever proud of. It ate away at me. And honestly it's still something that I have to work on.
ReplyDeleteWe all know that grudges ultimately lead to bitterness. Bitterness is like drinking a vile of poison and hoping it harms the other person yet all the while its killing you.
I am so glad that you have come to this realization and that God has restored your's and Jeff's reationship. Soemtimes we all have to go through those "rough patches" to become better and wiser.
And I would say that you're just that! :)
Thanks for sharing this!
You're precious.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend and a Happy Easter!
I'm glad you have found a way to be more at peace. I can't hold a grudge for the life of me.
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