Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Lemme do your Lazik for you.... for FREE!

Today I witnessed my dad getting the lazik eye surgery. I actually saw the whole procedure, from beginning to end, and therefore:

I am now a pro.

I'm now qualified to perform miracles with my own hands. The only thing is that we'll have to sneak in at night to get it done. I obviously don't own the equipment necessary and I scoped the place out: no cameras! We'll be in and out in no time. And you won't even have to worry about the sun damaging your eyes right after you are done. How much better can it get?

Here is how it will be done:
You'll lay down on the bed thingy and I'll give you a bear to hold, like such:
(And if you have to strain your eyes to see the bear, you really need this surgery... call me!)















Then, I turn on the monitors. I'll have to look for the power buttons and figure things out as I go. But please don't worry, I know my way around a computer, I do have a blog, don't I?
The details were easy to see cause of the big TV... I actually felt like I was being watched...hmmm




So as you can see, there was no way I would have missed anything. Well, except for the part where they measured his eyes with the weird machine. I'm going to skip all that and just use a tape measurer and/or a ruler, its really the same difference. And I know you may be worried that I was standing outside of the room, however I promise you that I will be in the same room with you. I might close my eyes in certain parts though. Cause honestly? The part where they cut the thin film from around the eyeballs is pretty scary. I don't wanna see that again! After that's done, I'll scrape the eye nice and hard and then shoot blue lazer lights into it, and ta da! You are done!

That being said, I don't know that I'll actually have the nerves to do lazik myself after seeing it. But you and I are different people. If you are cheap and don't mind me screwing up your eyes, call fast!

17 comments:

  1. Haha
    I'll trust my eyes in your hands 100%

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  2. Girl you are hilarious! Did they give you a diploma? You deserve one :)

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  3. You surely qualify to do the procedure now! LoL
    So no cameras? I might consider :)

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  4. Do me, do me! I'm cheap and I can't see the bear!
    Hope your dad is better soon :)

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  5. Awww your dad is so cute holding on to the bear! I'm dialing as I write, can i do your eyes when you are done with mine? Being a patient should make you a pro too lol

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  6. You dont need a tape measure, just eyeball it haahaaha

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  7. Well if I read your instructions and I stare at the pictures of your dad's eyes, can't I perform a LASIK too? I know my way around a blog too so I should be able to get the monitors going :D

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  8. Thanks for the laugh girl, you are awesome :)

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  9. You are too much! I'm glad that things went well for your Dad. I really really want lazik...although...i think Id rather just have you support hehe! xo

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  10. Haha You could SO do that Shanny... and I would be the FIRST in line to let you try that on me ;)
    You make me laugh!!

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  11. If I didn't have perfect vision, I'd totally use you!

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  12. I watched my Dad have his lasik done for a few minutes. I had to stop because my lasik was next! Don't tell your Dad, but I'm wearing glasses after 10 years. Damn hormones & old age! :(

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  13. I can't believe you watched the whole thing. Ew-I wouldn't be able to.

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  14. When I was in college, and this will show just how old I am, the girl who lived across the hall from me in the dorm had the pre-laser version of lasik done where they actually used a knife to make the cut in the eyes. It totally freaked me out. I've never wanted to have it done. So freaky.

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  15. I saw my mom get Lasik too and after that I promised myself I would never get it either and surprise I still haven't got it.

    If I hadn't seen that I would totally let you fix my eyes lol.

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  16. You crack me up, loving this post!

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