Before I get into my actual post I want to wish congrats to my cousin who gave birth to her adorable baby girl yesterday. She is a tiny perfect little woman :) not that her mommy reads the blog but that's not the point, I can still share the happiness!
Now, about my kiddos. They are very much their father kids. Remember how Jeff loves to share our pregnancy information with everyone and anyone? And I like to keep quiet as a precaution? Well I've been overruled. They decided they wanted to make it obvious to the world that they are chilling in mommy's belly.
I'm in the akward "is she fat or pregnant phase", but I hope pregnancy is the obvious conclusion since vanity exists in my world. Everyone tells me they notice it, and even strangers tell me congratulations so I guess its out there. This should be making Jeff happy. I've been waiting for this weekend to start taking belly pics since tomorrow and Saturday we will be celebrating our 6th year anniversary (we had 2 weddings) and, AND, and I'll be in my 15th week. So I think its safe for me to show them off....not that they are giving me any choice.
Oh and if you were wondering, there is no one left for Jeff to tell. Not that he admitted this to me before but when I told him it was OK to share he gave me a smile I recognized to mean I'm silly to think he didn't already. Don't worry sweetheart your kids are on your side for now.... but for the future don't forget that old phrase: "if Mom's not happy, no one is", so it would be wise to stop overruling me from now on. Just saying :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
When Life Gives You Lemons......
It's not always for you to learn to make lemonade, sometimes its just the sizes of your Twins :) Fortunately and unfortunately both reasons apply to me this week.
I thought I was done with staring at pee sticks. Wrong.
I thought I was done with poking myself with needles. Wrong.
Thank goodness I have LOTS of experience with both.
I have gestational diabetes :(
Yes, at 14 weeks I find out I have failed my glucose test. And this my friends pisses me off. Not necessarily because I have to follow a strict diet or poke my finger 4 times a day or test ketones in my urine, no. What pisses me off is that I never fail any test, now I broke my own record of perfect grades. And I know its not the same kind of test but the fact is I'm using the same words: "I failed the test" so I think I can be upset about that.
Me having gestational diabetes is obviously not cool but I'm glad we found out early. I want to look at the bright side: I get to eat very healthy and continue my old habits of peeing on sticks and poking myself. Those are really not that bad, the peeing is for testing if I'm eating enough (and to ease my bladder) so I won't starve my kids, and the needle poking is just a pinch. The little machine is cool too, I feel like a lab technician :) I have to record all results including everything I eat and fax it over twice a week to that office AND see them every 3 weeks.
In all honesty, I am upset. BUT I'll do anything for my babies and I'll do it with a smile :)
So yes LIFE, I'll make lemonade but I can't drink it, you understand....
I thought I was done with staring at pee sticks. Wrong.
I thought I was done with poking myself with needles. Wrong.
Thank goodness I have LOTS of experience with both.
I have gestational diabetes :(
Yes, at 14 weeks I find out I have failed my glucose test. And this my friends pisses me off. Not necessarily because I have to follow a strict diet or poke my finger 4 times a day or test ketones in my urine, no. What pisses me off is that I never fail any test, now I broke my own record of perfect grades. And I know its not the same kind of test but the fact is I'm using the same words: "I failed the test" so I think I can be upset about that.
Me having gestational diabetes is obviously not cool but I'm glad we found out early. I want to look at the bright side: I get to eat very healthy and continue my old habits of peeing on sticks and poking myself. Those are really not that bad, the peeing is for testing if I'm eating enough (and to ease my bladder) so I won't starve my kids, and the needle poking is just a pinch. The little machine is cool too, I feel like a lab technician :) I have to record all results including everything I eat and fax it over twice a week to that office AND see them every 3 weeks.
In all honesty, I am upset. BUT I'll do anything for my babies and I'll do it with a smile :)
So yes LIFE, I'll make lemonade but I can't drink it, you understand....
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Things I Did Not Expect
I know I'm early in my pregnancy and all that but there are some things that totally caught me by surprise. Wanna know what? Ok, I'll tell you.
1- I didn't know that my boobs would not change, at all. During my past pregnancies they got really big and tender immediately. It hurt to wear a bra. Now? Nothing. They are the same, not that I need them to get any bigger or that I want pain or anything but its a bit shocking to tell you the truth.
2- I did not expect for one of my nipples to itch like crazy. Sorry for the TMI but it has to be said, at least I'm not telling which one. It goes on and off but every so often it just goes to town with itchiness, and of course I tend to irritate it more by scratching and I make it worse, ah well!
3- Breakouts. I am breaking out like a hormonal teenager but not on my face, oh no. Well a little bit on my face but if it was all there I would be unrecognizable. I'm breaking out in my head. All over my head, it hurts to comb my hair. And to make things more exciting apparently I can't stop myself from popping them. Not that I'm doing it on purpose, I'll be watching TV and suddenly I find my hand in my head going at it, ouch. The good thing is that if it leaves any marks no one will see them, right? This is crazy.
4- Hating my cooking. I can't stand anything I cook, even something as simple as frying eggs makes my stomach turn inside out. So I've been really bad with that, really bad. I'm ashamed =(
1- I didn't know that my boobs would not change, at all. During my past pregnancies they got really big and tender immediately. It hurt to wear a bra. Now? Nothing. They are the same, not that I need them to get any bigger or that I want pain or anything but its a bit shocking to tell you the truth.
2- I did not expect for one of my nipples to itch like crazy. Sorry for the TMI but it has to be said, at least I'm not telling which one. It goes on and off but every so often it just goes to town with itchiness, and of course I tend to irritate it more by scratching and I make it worse, ah well!
3- Breakouts. I am breaking out like a hormonal teenager but not on my face, oh no. Well a little bit on my face but if it was all there I would be unrecognizable. I'm breaking out in my head. All over my head, it hurts to comb my hair. And to make things more exciting apparently I can't stop myself from popping them. Not that I'm doing it on purpose, I'll be watching TV and suddenly I find my hand in my head going at it, ouch. The good thing is that if it leaves any marks no one will see them, right? This is crazy.
4- Hating my cooking. I can't stand anything I cook, even something as simple as frying eggs makes my stomach turn inside out. So I've been really bad with that, really bad. I'm ashamed =(
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Report straight from my womb
Today's news is better than last.
Not perfect. But better. This will be long...
We met with the genetic counselor and had a long discussion with her. Luckily they received my bloodwork results that test for genetic abnormalities and they were able to give us a better diagnostic possibility in combination with last week's NT scan. Unfortunately its not the best way to get results when carrying twins because there is no way to test the chances individually for them, so what they do is they take the results and split it in the middle. Regardless, I like what I heard.
According to the combined results, which is not conclusive in any one's case, we only have 3-5% chances of something going wrong. We were told that in such large population that its still a BIG chance, but Jeff and I prefer looking at the other 95-97% chances of things being just fine. Of course the only way to get a conclusive report is by doing the CVS at this point but we decided not to do it. I don't want to mess with my babies, what if they are fine (which they are) and I fall in that 1% of cases that does the procedure and causes a miscarriage? Thanks, but no thanks.
I've had enough miscarriages and Jeff and I already decided that we did not want to terminate regardless of the results. They say if we knew something was wrong we can prepare, etc, etc, etc but imagine how much stress and sleepless nights I will have the rest of the pregnancy. I, personally, could not deal. Lots of strong women can deal and prepare for whatever situation comes their way but I can't, all I know is that I trust God and that I will love my babies no matter what so I don't need to drive myself insane.
What we did do was request the 2nd NT scan to see if they agreed with the last one. Both readings were normal THANK GOD. But! we were told that it doesn't change the first reading and that they still have to go by the first one. Hey, as far as I'm concerned that first tech did it incorrectly, she definitely did not do it like today's tech AND its not because we disagreed with her measurements. Its just that we saw what we saw and what we saw was her measuring the space between the baby's neck and the sac. Today's tech did both babies the same way: a little line in between the neck and guess what? They were good measurements so I love this tech, her name is Ana and she is the best! No one can tell me otherwise.
Just to be on the side of precaution, they are testing Jeff and myself for chromosomal abnormalities. If those are not good the babies have 25% chance of inheriting the abnormality, in which case we might decide to do the Amnio to test them for definite results. If our results are good, we are not doing anything. But how disappointing will it be at our ages to find out we are slow? Seriously, right now I rather be ignorant about my lack of brain cells. That's just me though =)
Oh, oh, oh! They are measuring 13 weeks and 4 days and I'm currently 12 weeks and 5 days. Do your thing babies, do your thing!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
I normally wouldn't post on this day but I had to because of my results. I could do it tomorrow but that just makes me a coward.
Today marks 6 years since we lost my 6 year old cousin and I cannot post without mentioning him, which is why I've avoided blogging on April 15th in the past.This is a topic I can't bring myself to ever write about but since I'm posting I must acknowledge him.
We love you Ajay.
You will forever be in our hearts.
Not perfect. But better. This will be long...
We met with the genetic counselor and had a long discussion with her. Luckily they received my bloodwork results that test for genetic abnormalities and they were able to give us a better diagnostic possibility in combination with last week's NT scan. Unfortunately its not the best way to get results when carrying twins because there is no way to test the chances individually for them, so what they do is they take the results and split it in the middle. Regardless, I like what I heard.
According to the combined results, which is not conclusive in any one's case, we only have 3-5% chances of something going wrong. We were told that in such large population that its still a BIG chance, but Jeff and I prefer looking at the other 95-97% chances of things being just fine. Of course the only way to get a conclusive report is by doing the CVS at this point but we decided not to do it. I don't want to mess with my babies, what if they are fine (which they are) and I fall in that 1% of cases that does the procedure and causes a miscarriage? Thanks, but no thanks.
I've had enough miscarriages and Jeff and I already decided that we did not want to terminate regardless of the results. They say if we knew something was wrong we can prepare, etc, etc, etc but imagine how much stress and sleepless nights I will have the rest of the pregnancy. I, personally, could not deal. Lots of strong women can deal and prepare for whatever situation comes their way but I can't, all I know is that I trust God and that I will love my babies no matter what so I don't need to drive myself insane.
What we did do was request the 2nd NT scan to see if they agreed with the last one. Both readings were normal THANK GOD. But! we were told that it doesn't change the first reading and that they still have to go by the first one. Hey, as far as I'm concerned that first tech did it incorrectly, she definitely did not do it like today's tech AND its not because we disagreed with her measurements. Its just that we saw what we saw and what we saw was her measuring the space between the baby's neck and the sac. Today's tech did both babies the same way: a little line in between the neck and guess what? They were good measurements so I love this tech, her name is Ana and she is the best! No one can tell me otherwise.
Just to be on the side of precaution, they are testing Jeff and myself for chromosomal abnormalities. If those are not good the babies have 25% chance of inheriting the abnormality, in which case we might decide to do the Amnio to test them for definite results. If our results are good, we are not doing anything. But how disappointing will it be at our ages to find out we are slow? Seriously, right now I rather be ignorant about my lack of brain cells. That's just me though =)
Oh, oh, oh! They are measuring 13 weeks and 4 days and I'm currently 12 weeks and 5 days. Do your thing babies, do your thing!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~
I normally wouldn't post on this day but I had to because of my results. I could do it tomorrow but that just makes me a coward.
Today marks 6 years since we lost my 6 year old cousin and I cannot post without mentioning him, which is why I've avoided blogging on April 15th in the past.This is a topic I can't bring myself to ever write about but since I'm posting I must acknowledge him.
We love you Ajay.
You will forever be in our hearts.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
So puking is not sexy?
This morning Jeff had a front row seat to one of my puking attacks. Normally I'm able to do it in private but I guess I didn't want to be lonely this time around. His face was pretty controlled at the moment but when he left for work he said:
"Sorry honey, I love you but I'm not kissing you"
The nerves on that man! =(
Well Jeff, sweetheart, I'm sorry my carrying your two (awesome) kids makes me unsexy, but next time you leave without kissing me the puking will done ON YOU.... only cus I love you too =)
"Sorry honey, I love you but I'm not kissing you"
The nerves on that man! =(
Well Jeff, sweetheart, I'm sorry my carrying your two (awesome) kids makes me unsexy, but next time you leave without kissing me the puking will done ON YOU.... only cus I love you too =)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Why Did I Think That Things could Go Smoothly for us?
You would think after our experiences I would know better....
Yesterday was our NT scan, where they measure the fluid in the back of the babie's necks to screen for abnormalities. The scan apparently showed the bottom Twin to be doing fine but the top Twin seemed to have too big a gap in the measurement. Here is the thing though, Jeff and I saw the exact same thing and we are sticking to it: with the first baby she measured a space in between the neck and we could clearly see that. BUT the second baby we both saw her measuring the space between the neck and the sack....which would obviously show a bigger gap, right?
Did we say something to her? No. She is the expert. We both said what we saw to each other right away but we didn't speak up to her. Jeff only told our Doctor what we saw after, but of course she said that the other biotch (I don't like her for obvious reasons) was the expert. We were in too much of a shock to argue with the experts. In any case, not only do they want us to do a CVS (they remove a tiny sample from the placenta) to test any genetic disorder and its more accurate than this ultrasound screening but we are supposed to start thinking of possibly terminating my Twin.
How about NO? I know that if its one of the really bad defects (Trisomy 13 or Trisomy 18) it could affect the other twin. And don't ask me what those are because as informed as I am I REFUSE to read anything negative, I don't know what they are because I don't want to know what they are and because I DONT NEED to know what they are. MY TWINS HAVE TO BE FINE.
I cannot willingly go to terminate either of them, I just can't. Not after all we've gone through to even get to this point.
When my CVS testing comes back normal I'm going back to smack that lady. Now, I'm only nervous and crying and angry and since Jeff read that Twins should not be tested for CVS I don't know what to do. I'll just go and cry some more.
Yesterday was our NT scan, where they measure the fluid in the back of the babie's necks to screen for abnormalities. The scan apparently showed the bottom Twin to be doing fine but the top Twin seemed to have too big a gap in the measurement. Here is the thing though, Jeff and I saw the exact same thing and we are sticking to it: with the first baby she measured a space in between the neck and we could clearly see that. BUT the second baby we both saw her measuring the space between the neck and the sack....which would obviously show a bigger gap, right?
Did we say something to her? No. She is the expert. We both said what we saw to each other right away but we didn't speak up to her. Jeff only told our Doctor what we saw after, but of course she said that the other biotch (I don't like her for obvious reasons) was the expert. We were in too much of a shock to argue with the experts. In any case, not only do they want us to do a CVS (they remove a tiny sample from the placenta) to test any genetic disorder and its more accurate than this ultrasound screening but we are supposed to start thinking of possibly terminating my Twin.
How about NO? I know that if its one of the really bad defects (Trisomy 13 or Trisomy 18) it could affect the other twin. And don't ask me what those are because as informed as I am I REFUSE to read anything negative, I don't know what they are because I don't want to know what they are and because I DONT NEED to know what they are. MY TWINS HAVE TO BE FINE.
I cannot willingly go to terminate either of them, I just can't. Not after all we've gone through to even get to this point.
When my CVS testing comes back normal I'm going back to smack that lady. Now, I'm only nervous and crying and angry and since Jeff read that Twins should not be tested for CVS I don't know what to do. I'll just go and cry some more.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Berry Berry Strawberries!
We saw them today!
I decided to stick to my old OB since her practice has more experience with multiples and they are a high risk practice. AND, and, and because they certainly have way more advanced machines than the OB I tried out 2 weeks ago.
They are measuring on track, Baby A measured 11w4d and Baby B measured 11w6d. We didn't see or hear the heartbeats since everything else was great. I got a pap which made me bleed but I was told not to worry so I'm not worrying (too much). I got a prescription for Zofran so hopefully my nausea and puking eases down a bit, I'm getting some of the birth defect screening tests done on Thursday, and I have to get a 3 hour glucose test done. I know its early for the glucose test but when this same doctor had me do a 2 hour test back in 2008 the results were not too satisfying, so please pray I pass this one with flying colors.
And now here is a tiny video of today's ultrasound. We had to cut it short because it was far too long, they were moving a bit more towards the end BUT they still have some moves to show in this clip! You can see Baby A waving a hand and Baby B moving its legs, its quick so you have to try to catch it =)
I decided to stick to my old OB since her practice has more experience with multiples and they are a high risk practice. AND, and, and because they certainly have way more advanced machines than the OB I tried out 2 weeks ago.
They are measuring on track, Baby A measured 11w4d and Baby B measured 11w6d. We didn't see or hear the heartbeats since everything else was great. I got a pap which made me bleed but I was told not to worry so I'm not worrying (too much). I got a prescription for Zofran so hopefully my nausea and puking eases down a bit, I'm getting some of the birth defect screening tests done on Thursday, and I have to get a 3 hour glucose test done. I know its early for the glucose test but when this same doctor had me do a 2 hour test back in 2008 the results were not too satisfying, so please pray I pass this one with flying colors.
And now here is a tiny video of today's ultrasound. We had to cut it short because it was far too long, they were moving a bit more towards the end BUT they still have some moves to show in this clip! You can see Baby A waving a hand and Baby B moving its legs, its quick so you have to try to catch it =)
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