Happy Mother's Day!!!!

To You

And to ME!!!!

And Happy 7 months to the babies!!

A pretty picture! Let me paint you it...

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yes? Well, if this is true. Somewhere in the world there must be one or two 99 year old ladies who will find me sexy.

Let me explain:

I had babies, bla, bla, bla, this is old story *yawn* you already know this.
My belly got big and I got two special things along with it (not the twins):
1- stretch marks and
2- a linea negra.
We are still on the same page, right? Ok, let's move on.

Now, NOW, and I mean right this moment, said belly with the help of the linea negra and the stretch marks, has turned into an old man's butt. You read that right, an old wrinkly man's butt. The linea negra is in such way that it appears to be the butt crack and well, you can imagine the rest... let's not even try to figure out what the belly button could be (heehee). I will of course NOT show you a picture because I rather let you think that I'm exaggerating (I'm not). Just know that when you see me and I still look pregnant, the reality of it is that I'm carrying an old man's butt flapping over my lady business. Jeff is one lucky man I tell ya. Obviously, I don't walk around flaunting it.

Is it sad that my old man's butt actually has more cushion than my own butt? If only I could transfer it from my  front to the back.... *sigh*

The thing to know is that you must, under all circumstances, keep your grandmothers away from me. They might recognize the shape and then wont be able to keep their hands off me. And nobody wants to beat up an old lady for getting too excited, much less me... or Jeff... for that matter. He does happen to be married to my extra butt. Poor guy.

Needless to say, I'm sexier than you cause I'm the one rocking two butts. That's four a$$ cheeks! What you got to top that? Huh, huh?

How to stop????

I've been waiting for the kids to hit 6 months so I can start weaning off pumping and to get to spend more time with my bed with the babies. This was my commitment and making it really makes me feel quite accomplished. Go me!! woohoo! yeah, yeah, bla, bla, bla. I know in the "nursing world" this isn't really that long but hey if you multiply 1 baby's 6 month by 2 you get 12 months... right? right! So technically I pumped for 12 months in half the time! How fantastic is that? I'm like supermama! I wanna believe what I wanna  believe so don't burst my bubble, thanks much!

I've been going at it even while working full time. They've been awesome at work about it so I've been lucky about keeping it up there. I have had the occasional leakage from not being able to pump on time but that's the only issue I've gotten at work. And now? Now I don't know how to stop. I mean I know I have to not pump as much, etc, etc. but my heart doesn't know how to stop. I can't just not pump, like ever again, cause my boobs will just explode. But I feel like I'm being a bad mommy by stopping. Not that I think anyone is a bad mommy for not giving breast milk, I mean it in the sense that this is the only thing I know as a mom, and because of Noah's weaker immune system. I spent sooo much time getting my milk supply up, like in the beginning I spent 2 weeks straight pumping every 1 1/2 to 2 hours round the clock, and after all that work just to give up now seems wrong in my head. Don't get me wrong I am giving it up. I just can't wrap my head around it, yet.

I'm looking forward to wearing regular bras cause I've been living in my hands free pumping bustiers. So easy to just lift my blouse and pump. I'm looking forward to enjoying a glass of an alcoholic beverage (at this point I'm a little desperate so any will do) it's been over a year and half of none of this, except for beer. I tried beer to see if it would help with the supply a couple of times but I'm not a beer person, (and yes it works, I got an extra 2 ounces) . Another thing that's been over a year and half? My period. I haven't seen that read headed biotch since I started my IVF cycle (except for the bleeding after babies were born but that doesn't count). This I'm not looking forward to, at all. I suppose now that I'm finally a mom I should retire the "biotch" name in reference to my period, right? I'll think about it. She will no longer be breaking my heart every month so I guess I can make nice. Anyway, I'm also looking forward to blogging more. To not walk around with the darn pump everywhere. To not have sore hard as rock boobs. And most importantly to spend even more time with the kiddos.

I was making progress in the weaning off department but then I got sick. I've been sick this whole week, with something very flu-like. Not sure if it was the flu or not cause I did get my flu shot but it was crappy and I didn't like it. So when I had finally started to pump only 5 times a day instead of 8 and producing less because of taking medication, I hit a panic mode and started going crazy with the pump so that I can give the babies the milk and help them avoid getting sick. So now I have to start weaning off again. Those who did it... How does it feel? Is there really a sense of freedom? I'm not sure how long I'll take to wean off but I can't wait. And at the same time I can wait. I'm confused. I know I want to stop. Formula is good stuff and I have a freezer stash, so I'm ok with it, I just don't kow how to make myself stop! Anyway, since I worked hard for my freezer stash, I'm gona show it to you: ta da...

I know it looks a little sad and it's not that impressive but whatever. I worked hard for it and I'm quite proud so I'm going to pat my own back. This is over 400 ounces of frozen milk. Sounds like a lot right? Not so much. For twins this will not last too long. But since I'm still pumping and they are eating solids we shall see how long they'll be getting breast milk for. By the way, giving them the breast milk while sick worked, so far (knock on wood) they are OK. Jeff on the other hand? I got him pretty sick. Sorry honey. Now, that I'm getting better I have to start weaning off again. I want a life without a pump. Wish me luck.

I can't believe this... I'm pregnant!

I'm shaking right now.
After everything that we've gone through, out of no where, I got a positive.
I've been feeling extra tired lately and saw some signs but since I'm still breastfeeding I didn't really believe it was connected. I had an extra test from when I was trying before... and holy crap, this is insane.

Absolutely insane!

And quite frankly you are insane too if you happened to believe me,.... you fool!
Happy April Fool's Day!

Now it's your turn, go fool somebody =)

In Jeff I trust

You know how Mommies are awesome and can do it all when it comes to their babies?

Well, Jeff can do it too.

Except pumping. Jeff can't pump. So I'm still better than him, ha!
He is extremely good with the babies. Oh so good. I work some Saturdays and people are usually surprised when I tell them that the babies are home with Jeff. They tend to ask if someone is there helping him. Nope. He takes great care of them all by himself. There are only a few people that I trust watching the babies (because of Noah's medications) and Jeff is at the top of that list. Well he is their Daddy but not all dads are comfortable watching babies so yay for me.

He plays with them a lot. I'm almost sure they have way more fun with him than with anyone else... including me =(... but I give them special mommy's milk (so whatever Jeff). He does try to avoid giving them a bath though. He used to bathe them in the folding chair in the sink but the baby tub makes him nervous. At least that's what he says. I think he just wants to play with them and keep them laughing so they love him more... I'm on to you Jeff so stop plotting against me.

But seriously though? Thank you honey for being so wonderful with them. Natalia loves you. Noah Loves you. And I suppose I love you too.

PS- Bath time is on you next time!

By the way, I've been working on this post for about two weeks now. I completely forgot most of the things I wanted to say but you get the idea: Jeff is a good Daddy =)

I'm still at it...

I'm still...

1-Working. Even though I'm brain dead they have taken mercy on me and have not fired me for being too distracted thinking about my babies.

2-Feeling guilty. I hate that I have to abandon the kiddos. I know they are in great hands but I can't help feeling very very sad that I have to go to work.

3-Pumping. I have been able to keep up my supply so far. I pump between 28 & 32 onces every day depending on how many pumps I can squeeze in. My drive to & from work is at least 30 minutes so I usually pump while driving home and I get to spend time with the babies before their bed time.

4-Owe you guys pics of the babies. They are almost 5 months and I haven't shared any pics since they turned 3 months. (Not on this blog I mean)

And lastly...

5-I'm sill reading your blogs. I may not have a chance to comment but I'm reading and following you all the same. I do miss giving you guys my very wise and humble opinion though :)

Corporate America: The Mother Robber!

They took me from my kids today and will continue to do so. Corporate America is EVIL!

*Disclaimer: Dear corporate America I have no real beef with you, my kids do. So please continue to send me paychecks, thank you.

I went back to work today (you already know this because I've been repeating this upcoming event lately) and that's why the world stopped for a second. You felt it didn't you? I know you did. There was a point in time today in which you forgot what you were doing or felt a slight confusion, that was me. That was the impact of me being taken away from my children. Lucky for all involved, I survived, imagine what would have happened with life as we know it if I didn't. Go ahead, you can breathe a sigh of relief. We are all okay, phew!

I had not been working for 7 1/2 months. I had to leave to be on bed rest since my heart was giving out on me (Crazy kids made me love them so much that my heart was on the verge of exploding) and then of course I had time to spend with the babies. I am very lucky and blessed to have been given 4 months to spend with the babies. And that's the thing, I've been on my own with the babies for a long time with not much adult interactions. You would think my co-workers would understand my Noah and Natalia's withdrawal but they didn't. Sure, they know it was hard for me and tried to be supportive but not once did they offer to let me burp them. Not once. The did not do any cooing for me nor did anyone get on their tummy to roll over so I can cheer them on, nope! But they all showed off that they can walk.....big deal, my kids pull themselves up when you hold their hands, ha! I wonder if they'll let me do baby talks to them.. I might try that tomorrow. I girl needs something to get through her day, no?

All in all it was a good first day back.I missed the babies a lot and I may or may not have cried but I survived. Ok, I did cry, one day at a time, right? 50% of the babies were good. Only one child loves me, the other one apparently could care less. Natty cried a bit in the morning and during lunch time. I was actually able to go today to see them during lunch but that was a one time deal. They are replacing the boiler at my job and it would be cold in any of the private areas where I could pump, I'll have to manage tomorrow but today I got a pass =)